Before it's too late
by Larrythepenguin
Summary: Will Ana tell Christian how she really feels? Will he come back safe from his travels? are the nightmares really reality?
1. Chapter 1

Before it's too late

Chapter 1

APOV

Tossing and turning I wake from a bad dream. I'm dreaming about him again, what if he leaves and never comes back? Will he stay in touch with me?

In my mind I see my inner judge standing with her arms crossed frowning at me. Ugh it's 4am Ana stop thinking about that god dam man. I check my phone, I see a notification on Facebook. It's a friend request... it's a friend request from him.. my heart fills with joy. He does want to be my friend. Sat with a smile on my face I accept his request.

Within minutes I hear my phone ping. It's him.. he actually wants to talk to me. Bursting with excitement I open the message. "Good evening Anastasia, how are you?" Oh he cares he wants to know how I am "why are you awake at this hour" why am I at this hour hmm I wonder, it's because of you... you're the reason I'm awake, and the inner judge strikes again. I start to type "good morning Christian, if I said I'm okay I'd be lying" I'm not okay because I can't stop thinking about you and that's not normal "I'm awake because I had a bad dream" I hit send. Why did I say I had a bad dream, I can't tell him about it. What if.. before I could finish my trail of thought I hear another ping. "Someone else to join the nightmare club" the nightmare club? Is there such thing. Dose this mean he gets them too? "The nightmare club, where do I sign my name?" Where do I sign my name.. Ana how stupid can you be. Ping!

"Anastasia what could you possibly be having bad dreams about?" SHIT I can't say why "is something or someone bothering you?" Yes you're bothering me.. with your sexy smile and those big grey eyes. I start to panic I can't tell him this... the truth. Gosh Ana pull yourself together. I start typing "yes Christian something/someone is bothering me.." part of me is saying press send and the other saying delete. Another message from Christian pops up "Anastasia I'd like to talk about this in the morning" oh is he saying goodbye "I know it's already the morning but what I mean is we should talk about it at work? Maybe we can have lunch together" OMG is he inviting me to have lunch with him. I can't have lunch with him, especially not talk about my nightmares.. the nightmares that are all about him leaving and never coming back.

I clear my previous message "sure, I'd love to have lunch with you. I'll let you get some rest. See you soon x"

Waiting nervously I hear a ping.

"Look forward to our first nightmare club meeting, 12:30 in the canteen on the dot! Don't be late miss Steele" oh now he's using my last name "goodnight sweet dreams" with a smile on my face I slowly drift off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

APOV

Beep! Beep! Beep! My alarm goes off. Ugh how is it 8am already I roll over and hit snooze. Laying on my back i stare at the ceiling and get lost in my thoughts. I wonder what I'll tell Christian. Will he find out how I really feel. I always feel a little nervous around him but yet so comfortable when we talk. His voice is deep and sexy and his eyes are so kind. Tho he always looks as if something is bothering him. I can see sadness washed across his face.

Beep! Beep! Beep! My alarm goes off again. I turn it off and head to the shower. I switch on the shower and the room fills with steam as the water heats up. I look at myself in the mirror. Dam Steele you're looking more pale then normal and your hair looks like a birds nest..bits of hair sticking up everywhere. I roll my eyes at myself and turn on the shower radio.

ED Sheehan's voice fills the room. Supermarket flowers is playing as I climb into the shower. This song always reminds me of my dear mother Marie. She lost her battle with cancer a year ago. I miss her so much. Tears roll down my face tho I wash them away under the hot water and try and pull myself together.

As I climb out the shower love is easy by McFly comes on the radio. Only if love really was easy. I roll my eyes turning off the radio and heading to my room. Hmm what should I wear today. I pick out a few outfits. A cute little red dress, I'm not sure that's appropriate for work. I pull out a black and white spotty dress and slip it on. I head to the mirror and look at myself. Yep this is the dress I'll wear today. I scrape my hair into a ponytail and stare at myself in the mirror. Gosh Ana why do you care so much what you look like.. If mr grey eyes is really into you he wouldn't care how you look. Sad blue eyes stare back at me in the mirror. I know my inner goddess knows what's best but I ignore her and grab my bag. Heading downstairs I hear my stepdad josh in the kitchen. He's made pancakes. Mmm my favourite. I sit at the table and eat in silence. I forgot how much I loved his pancakes.

Taking the last sip of my tea I get up and clear my plate. I give josh a kiss goodbye and leave before he can say anything.

I head to my car. A black vw polo, I call her Betty. She's an old car but she's been very reliable. I turn the key and Betty comes to life.

As I arrive at work I see him. He's standing outside. Dam he looks so sexy.

I quickly park and head to the entrance. I work in a small office block. McKenzie law is written on the entrance. I'm only an apprentice at the moment but I'm hoping to become a lawyer like everyone else here. As I arrive at the entrance I trip on an uneven paving slab and before I know it my face is kissing the pavement. I hear a few people crowed round, but I only hear his voice. He's shouting "Ana are you okay?" Hmm of course I'm okay my dreamy night in shining armour is here to help me. "Anastasia" he's shouting again. What's going on why am I feeling so giddy. "Here Anastasia" he's offers his hand, I take it. He slowly helps me sit up. Crap I feel so dizzy. "You took a nasty blow to the head Anastasia, let me help you inside" he wants to help me inside. As he assists me to stand I feel faint. Everything has gone dark.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

APOV

I slowly open my eyes. Where am I? I can hear his voice, he's talking really softly I can't make out what he's saying.

I begin to sit up slowly and look around. I'm in his office laying on his couch. As I'm looking around I hear my name.

"Anastasia, you gave me a fright. You just blacked out" Ah the sound of sweet Christian and he's worrying about me. I must reassure him I'm okay. "Christian, please I'm fine" as I talk I start to stand up. I wobble and lose my balance.

Before I know it I'm in his arms. He's strong muscly arms. Mmm he smells so good. Oh god Ana what's this man doing to you. My inner judge is rolling her eyes at me.

"Anastasia you're not okay, I'm taking you to the hospital" oh no not the hospital, that's where Zack works.. I can't face him, not yet it's only been 5 weeks since we went our separate ways. "No Christian, I'm fine I don't need medical attention" I put my head in my hands. Ouch my face does hurt. I hear him huff. He walks around the room and raises his voice "for goodness sake Anastasia you're injured and you need to be checked out!" Oh he sounds so angry with me. It's my body not his and I'm fine. Just as I'm about to talk he raises his hand to stop me. "Anastasia if you won't let me take you to a hospital then I insist you come with me to my parents house" what... why is he talking about me going to his parents.. He looks at me with a frown. "Both my parents are doctors and I can have them check you out" Ah I see that's why he wants me to go. I'm going to meet the mans parents before he even knows how head-over heels I am for him.

CPOV

God dam it Anastasia why have you got to be so stubborn. she needs medical attention but refuses to go. Think grey think. Ah yes Mum and Dad.

"Anastasia if you won't let me take you to a hospital then I insist you come with me to my parents house" oh shit grey what have you done the poor girl has gone pale. She looks like shes seen a ghost. "Both my parents are doctors and I can have them check you out" her face begins to regain colour and she smiles. She's got the cutest dimples. "Christian, mr grey... I couldn't possibly put you through so much trouble" Is she denying my help. I can't have this I need to know she's okay. Jesus grey get a grip why do you care so much.

"Christian" she says my name so sweetly. I feel butterflies when she says it. "Christian" oh shit I'm day dreaming. "I'm sorry Anastasia, I get lost on what some say is planet grey" fuck why did I tell her about planet grey. She chuckles "you live on planet grey and I live on planet Ana" she's still giggling like a school girl.

Her giggle makes my heart flutter. Why haven't I heard her laugh before. "Anastasia please let me help you this one time" she rolls her eyes at me.. dam that makes me mad, if she was mine I'd bend her over my knee and spank her. "Christian please call me Ana and I'll only come with you to get checked out if you promise me one thing" shit What does she want. I raise my eye brow. "Christian I want to take you out for lunch to say think you for being so kind" oh sweet lord that's all she wants, I accept her offer "of course I'd love to have lunch with you" her eyes light up. "Ana please give me a few minutes and I clear my schedule for today and inform Mum and Dad we're on our way" I excuse myself from my office and find Lola.

"Lola I need you to cancel all meeting for this morning and possibly this afternoon" I snap at her. She quickly clears my schedule. "All clear Mr Grey, I hope everything is okay" ugh why has she always got to be so nosey. I Shake my head and head back to my office. I call my parents on my return. "Hi Mum, I need you to do me a huge favour and check a college of mine. She's had a fall but is refusing to go to the hospital" my mother has said it's okay to bring Ana over. "Thanks Mum, see you soon" I hang up the phone as I enter my office.

There she is standing so elegantly looking out the window. Her hair pulled back into a ponytail, she wearing a beautiful dress that hugs her curves. Mmm if only she was my girl.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

APOV

The view from Christians office is amazing, he's is amazing. Why is he being so kind to me of all people. I hear footsteps behind me and slowly turn around.

"Enjoying the view Anastasia" it's him. His eyes are so dreamy yet so sad. "Christian please just call me Ana" my mum always called me Anastasia when I was in trouble. "You don't have to go to all this trouble for me Christian" he huffs and rolls his eyes at me. "Ana stop being so arrogant" me arrogant how dare he! He's made me a little mad. "Christian" I narrow my eyes but before I can say anything else he raises his hand to my mouth and presses his finger on my lips to silence me "shhh Anastasia, you've said enough" my inner-self is angry with Christian. How can someone be so sweet and kind one minute and then so horrid the next.

Without saying a word Christian grabs my hand and heads for the elevators. His hand is so soft and it fits perfectly in mine. Common Steele get a grip, yes he's an incredibly sexy man but control yourself.

The elevator door pings open.

We step inside. He presses the button.

We stand in silence. I look at myself in the mirror my eye is swollen and my lip cut open. Maybe he's right I need medication attention. My eyes turn to him.

His piercing grey eyes stare into mine.

There's some kind of tension between us. His breathing is shallow. My heart is racing. I look down, he's still holding my hand. His fingers intertwined with mine. His running his thumb over mine. He is driving me insane.

He moves closer to me.

He keeps getting closer. Mmm he smells so good, his smell is intoxicating. I feel the butterflies in my tummy and my body feels numb.

He kisses me on my cheek then whispers in my ear "miss Steele the things I'd like to do to you" I gasp as his lips move from my ear. I feel my face turn red. "Anastasia stop biting your lip" I'm not biting my lip am I. I look at myself in the mirror again my cheeks are flushed and my teeth are clamped onto my lip. SHIT Steele control yourself my inner goddess is jumping up and down trying to distract me. I let go of his hand and cover my face. I take a deep breath in to steady my nerves and before I can say anything the elevator doors ping open.

Christian begins to move but my body's so numb I don't follow. What has this man done to me.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

CPOV

Stepping out the elevator I notice Anastasia hasn't followed me. She's stood still gazing at me.

"Anastasia" I shout her name. She still just stands there. Shit grey what have you done to the poor girl to make her so lifeless. I run to the elevator before the doors shut and scoop her into my arms.

I carry her out of the elevator and put her back on her own two feet.

She's flushed. Her eyes meet mine and then immediately look down. She fidgets nervous with her hands.

"Anastasia, what's wrong?" I place my hand on her shoulder. Yet she doesn't answer me. Fuck grey you've done it again, you've scared her away with your twisted words. "Ana please talk to me" I place my hand under her chin and lift her head. Her mesmerising blue eyes stare at me.

She opens her mouth as if she's going to say something then shakes her head. Maybe she's not comfortable talking about this in the middle of the entrance to McKenzie law.

"Anastasia lets go some place with a bit more privacy" I hold out my hand and she nods and takes my open hand.

I lead her to my car parked just outside the building. As we walk closer to the car her eyes light up.

"Christian, is this your car?" She lets go of my hand and quickly walks around the car looking at it in all angles. "Yes Anastasia this is my car, don't you like it?" I look at her and raise my eyebrow and smirk at her. "Christian this is my dream car" her smile is beautiful. "Anastasia it's just a car" she narrows her eyes and pouts "Christian it's an Audi R8, it's not just a car" I can't help but laugh at her. She doesn't look too impressed that I'm laughing. I open the passenger door for her and she slides in.

I quickly walk round the car and get in the drivers side. Silence fills the car.

I turn to Anastasia. "Anastasia what happened in the elevator?" She looks down at her hands, she's fidgeting with them again. She must do this when she's nervous.

"Christian, I... I have to tell you something" her voice is shaky. I take her hand so she can't fidget anymore, her fidgeting is setting off my anxiety. "Anastasia please you can tell me anything" she rolls her eyes at me. "Please just call me Ana. Christian you asked me about my nightmares" I nod to tell her to continue "most of my nightmares and dreams involve you" I let go of her hand.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

APOV

We sit in silence for a few minutes. He asked me to tell him. "Christian please talk to me" he's got a blank facial expression and doesn't respond.

I touch his hand to try and bring him back to planet earth as he's probably on planet grey but I get nothing.

Oh Ana what have you done. You've said to much.

I look at Christian and deep down I hope I haven't ruined our friendship or jeopardised our future. "Christian if you won't talk I'm going to leave and head back to work" I reach for the door handle but it won't open. Has he actually locked me in the car... who would do this...

"Ana please don't leave, you need to see a doctor. Let me take you to my parents and then we can talk about this over lunch" he looks at me, he's eyes so sad.

I nod "of course Christian"

He starts the car and starts to drive. I look out the window as the world goes by. What has caused him to look so hurt and why is he so protective over me. I start to drift onto planet Ana.

"Anastasia" I hear my name but I'm thinking about the next few hours. "Hello Anastasia" he calls my name again but I'm lost in my own train of thoughts. "Ana" I turn to look at him. "Ana we're here" what where are we "we're at my parents" oh shit yes the parents.. I touch my head remembering my fall. "Ah yes okay" I wasn't quite sure how to respond. Christian climbs out the car and rushes to come and help me out the car.

I take his soft hand and step out the car. I pause for a moment and look at his parents house.

It's beautiful. There in front of me stands a White House with a grey roof, the front garden is full of flowers and trees. I take a deep breath in. It's so good to be away from the city. I'm not sure how far away we are but the air smells so pure and not toxic. Out of the corner of my eye I see Christian looking at me this a big grin on his face. Gosh this mans emotions are so hard to tell. "Enjoying the view mr grey" I wink at him playfully. "The country air really agrees with you miss Steele" I roll my eyes at him. "You look so relaxed Ana" he takes my hand and leads me to the front door. And so it begin. I take a deep breath in through my nose and out through my mouth. He rings the bell.

Oh I feel so sick, why is this so nerve racking. Christian is no longer holding my hand i start to feel my anxiety come to life. Focus Steele, focus.

The door opens and there stands a elegant lady with perfect long blonde hair snd piercing grey eyes. The eyes. That's where he must have gained them from.

The elegant lady holds out her hand "you must be Anastasia Steele" I take her and give her a reassuring smile "mrs grey" i Shake her hand "dear please call me rose" she then turns her attention to Christian and brings him into a hug. "Oh Christian it's so lovely to see you, it's been so long" he rolls his eyes and pulls away from his mother. "Mother it's lovely to see you too". He's quite blunt with her, I wonder if he see's his parents often.

Rose makes her way into the house and Christian gestures for me to follow her. "After you Steele" i follow rose into the house through a long hall and into the living room. As we walk through the living room door I feel Christians hand on my lower back. It feel so wrong yet so right, I melt every time he touches me. Rose points to the sofa "have a seat Anastasia, I'll just go get my medical bag and I'll check you over" I sit on the edge of a long grey corner sofa. Rose disappears out of the room. Christian strolls over and sits next to me. The tension is back and his breathing is shallow. I want to touch him, I want to kiss him. He Moves close to me and whispers in my ear "I feel it too" I grab his hand and his fingers interlock with mine.

Rose walks into the room and Christian quickly lets go of my hand and stands up "Mother, Anastasia had a fall and hit her head pretty hard" I roll my eyes "please check her over and make sure she's okay, I'll be in the kitchen" Christian swiftly exits the room.

I look as rose, she's smiling and her eyes are glistening. "Anastasia he cares about you very much" my eyes widen and I look at rose confused, how does she know this "I can just tell sweetie" she smiles at me.

CPOV

I leave Anastasia with mother and head for the kitchen. Why is she having dreams and nightmares about me... fuck I can't stop thinking about what she said, I need to know what they're about.

My phone rings. "Lola what is it?" She always calls at bad times "mr grey, mr McKenzie wants to know why you've left so suddenly and why Anastasia isn't here" for fucksake Lola you're not that stupid "Lola tell Rhys that miss Steele has had an accident and I have taken her to seek medical attention" I hang up the phone. Fuck I need to get rid of that woman. I run my hand through my hair. I wonder how sweet Anastasia is doing. I hope my mother isn't being too intrusive. With that In mind head back to the living room.

I stand outside and listen to my mother and Anastasia talking. "Rose does Christian visit you often" why is she's asking about my relationship with my parents. "He see's me 3 maybe 4 times a year Ana" there's so much sadness in my mother's voice. I can't stand to listen to them go on any longer. I knock on the door and my mother calls "come in"

As I enter the room the two women I care about the most in the world are sat looking at me.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

APOV

Christian is standing at the living room door. His hair is a sexy mess, his shirt unbuttoned a little and his rolled his sleeves up. He looks so relaxed and sexy. I look I'm up and down a few time. His got a tattoo on his left arm. I can't quite make out what it is. I bite my lip.

"Mother how is Anastasia? Do I need to get her to the hospital?" Ugh this man I roll my eyes at him.

"Christian my dear Ana is okay, she's just had a small bump to her head and will need to rest.. but she can't be left alone as she might have a slight bit of concussion" HA in your face grey I told you I'm fine. I smirk at him. His eyes meet mine. "Thank you Mother, I guess we should be going then" Christian walks over to where we are sitting and offers his hand to help me up. I take his hand only because I'm feeling a little dizzy. I turn to rose. She brings me in for a hug "thank you so much for checking me over rose, it was so lovely to meet you" she holds me at arms length "oh Ana it was nothing any problems please get Christian to contact me right away" I smile at her and nod. I move to one side so Christian can say goodbye to his mother. "Mother" he gives her a kiss on the cheek and heads for the door. that wasn't much of a goodbye. "Christian please don't be a stranger, I love you" rose shouts as we walk up the drive. Hmm he doesn't see her much, I wonder why that is... I look at Christian while we walk to the car, he looks sad and tense not like before when he look relaxed and carefree. I grab Christians hand and squeeze it. "I'm not sure what you're up to miss Steele but I'm intrigued to know"

I giggle "up to no good as always mr grey" I wink at him. He gives me a sly smile.

As we approach the car Christian opens the passenger door and ushers me in. He walks elegantly to his side of the car. As he gets in I can see the tattoo on his arm a lot clearer. It's a coy carp. It's beautiful. "Christian What does it mean?" He looked at me confused. I point to his tattoo

His face lights up. "I had a rough patch and the tattoo represents how I was determined to succeed no matter what had happened" what does he mean he had a rough patch, he's eyes look so sad when we talks about his past. "Do you have any tattoos Anastasia?" I slip my cardigan off my shoulder and revile my tattoo. He's looking at it and smiles "does it represent anyone?" Sadness fills my heart "Yes Christian, my Mum. She would say to me she wouldn't become an angel she'd become an owl so she's closer to me" tears fill my eyes, I try and hold them back. Christian grabs my hand "Ana that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard" I look at him and tears start rolling down my face.

Before I know it Christian has pulled me into his lap and his hugging me tightly "shhh sweet Anastasia it's okay" I lift my head and look him in the eyes. He wipes away my tears and traces his hand across my face and to my lips. "You're biting this again miss Steele" I release my lip as I do Christian runs his thumb across them.

He rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes. "If only I knew what goes on inside your head Ana" his breathing is shallow and I can feel his heart beating faster. He moves his head so his lips are almost touching mine. "I want this too Christian" I whisper. I minimise the gap between our lips. His breathing slows down. Before I know it his soft lips are touching mine.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

CPOV

I pull my lips away from Anastasia's, I look at her. She blushing and she's biting her lip. "Anastasia we should get you home" I tuck a lose strand of hair behind her ear. "Christian we need to go back to work" she shuffles in my lap and rolls her eyes. "Anastasia you need to go home and rest you heard what my mother said" she huffs "your mother said I can't be left alone, if I go home I'll be alone" but she lives with her father.. doesn't she. I look at her confused. "My Dad is working late tonight" ah I see. "Come back to my place then Anastasia, I'll cook for us" why are you doing this grey you just kissed the poor girl she's probably thinking you want more. Anastasia's complexion is flushed. "Christian, mr grey I couldn't possibly impose" has she gone shy. I shift Ana back to the passenger seat. "It's my duty to look after you today miss Steele" I wink at her. I lean over Ana and put her seatbelt on. She rolls her eyes at me. "Safety first Anastasia". I smirk at her. "Christian I'm capable of putting a seatbelt on" I raise one eyebrow "I know that Anastasia, but like I said it's my duty to look after you today" she shakes her head and giggles. Why is she laughing at me. "Anastasia what's so funny?" She tries to compose herself but does a terrible job. "Come on Anastasia, share the joke" I'm so confused "well mr grey" she giggles again "it's been a while since anyone's looked after me" oh is she being cheeky. "I see miss Steele" she blushes and bites her lip. I lean towards her, her body tenses, my lips brush her ear "your biting your lip again miss Steele" she shifts in the chair. "Christian don't you think we should get going, we've been sat in your parents driveway for a long time" shit I didn't realise. It's almost midday "Anastasia time goes by so quickly when I'm with you" she blushes and looks out the window. With that I turn the key and the car comes to life.

APOV

We pull off his parents driveway. Wow they live in a small village, it's lovely round here. I wonder if Christian grew up round here.

I look at him and my heart flutters. I feel so comfortable around him.

We stop at a red light and Christian looks at me. "Penny for your thoughts" oh god he wants to know what I'm thinking again, I swear he can read me like I book. "Christian did you grow up around here it's beautiful" sadness fills his face. "Yes and no. But I don't wanna talk about it Anastasia" he looks hurt. "Okay Christian" he sighs "should we listen to some music?" Oh I wonder what music he likes. "Sure, What kinda music do you like Christian?" He hands me his phone. His screensaver is a picture of a beautiful white Labrador. He tells me his passcode and I scroll through his music. I find why did it have to be me? by ABBA. I hit play.

The music fills the car. Christian glances at me "why this song Anastasia?" I roll my eyes "it fits the situation" I tease him.

"Ah I see miss Steele" he smirks. I glance out the window and drift to planet Ana.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

APOV

As Christian drives I watch the world go by. It's odd how he wants to take care of me when 3 weeks ago he didn't even know my name. I turn my head and look at Christian. He looks relaxed and well very sexy. I feel my cheeks burning up. Oh Ana control yourself. I bring my hand to my mouth and trace my lips. This beautiful man kissed me. He has the softest lips.

"Still thinking about our kiss" he's winks at me. "We're almost at my place Anastasia" he smiles. "Christian please just call me Ana" I roll my eyes at him. "But I like Anastasia, it's a beautiful name for a beautiful woman" I must admit whenever he says my name my heart skips a beat.

I shake my head and look out the window. Christian turns at the next left and we're greeted by big metal gates. He presses a button in the car and the gates began to open. As the car moves forwards I look around. We've entered a privet estate. "Oh wow" I can't contain my shock. "No way do you own one of these massive houses" I gaze out the window mouth wide open. Christian chuckles "yes I own one of these houses" of course he does, why wouldn't he. "How long have you lived here" I'm curious as the buildings look fairly new. "I've lived here 3 years" we pull into a garage. He parks the car next to a black suv. How many cars does this man own. He cuts the engine and climbs out, he walks round to my door and opens it for me. "Thank you" i take his hand and step out of the car. We walk through the garage and past 4 other cars "do you own all of these" I'm shocked. "Yes, they're all mine" he grins at my reaction. "How and why would you want so many cars" "because I can Anastasia" with that he opens the door and ushers me in.

CPOV

Anastasia stops in the doorway and looks around.. yes Ana I own a big house get over it. She is stunned by what she sees obviously. "Wait till you see the rest of the house" I wink and her and pull on her hand till she starts to walk. I head for the kitchen. "Are you hungry, I can make us food or we can order stuff in" she looks so shy and anxious. "I'm not that hungry Christian" I run my hand through my hair "Anastasia you need to eat" she starts to fidget with her hands, it make me nervous when she does that. I take her hand and pull her into my arms, she gasps. I push a lose strand of hair behind her ear and move my lips closer to hers "Anastasia please eat for me" with that her body tenses. I realise her from my hold "okay I'll eat but only if you let me cook for us" I raise my eyebrow at her and smirk with amusement, no ones ever cooked for me in my own home. Maybe now's the chance. "Be my guest, I'll show you around and you can cook away Miss Steele" with that I show Ana around the kitchen, I've got loads of stuff in the fridge. "Stir fry" she shouts with excitement "is that okay?" She looks at me anxiously "of course, one of my favourite dishes" she smiles and takes all the vegetables and chicken out the fridge "here let me help you prepare everything" I take out two chopping boards and two knifes. "Would you like the radio on?" I ask "sure" she smiles at me. I turn on the radio and the room fills with music. "Oh Christian I really love this song" she is so excited and starts to sing along, but I hadn't a clue what the song was, I look at her as she dances and sings around my kitchen. I could get use to this. "Enjoying the view Mr Grey" she playfully sticks out her tongue "always Miss Steele" we both giggle. She grabs my hands and starts to move them as if she's trying to make me dance. "Ana I don't dance, I can't dance" she pouts at me "everyone can dance Christian, listen to the music" I start to move to the tempo of the music "what is this song Ana, I like it" she looks at me as if I had 4 heads "really you have no idea what this song is" she's surprised. I shake my head "it's Shut up and dance by a group called walk the moon" we keep dancing till the song has finished, we're both giggling. I pull Ana into my arms and kiss her on the forehead. "I like having you here" her eyes dart up and meet mine "you like having me here" she frowns and a little v forms between her eyebrows. "What do you mean you like having me here" she wiggle out of my hold and leans against the breakfast bar. "What I mean Anastasia, I've really enjoyed your company today. I rarely have people here in my home" her face has lit up "Christian you should have a dinner party and invite your family over and maybe some friends" hmmm I don't want them here I just want you Ana. I let out a sigh "Maybe, but I'm not sure. Right now I'm so hungry I could eat a horse" she giggles at me and moves to the work station and begins to prepare the vegetables for the stir fry. Here I stand with this beautiful woman and she fits in so perfectly. I stand next to Ana and help her.

 **A/N sorry I haven't posted in a while, had a few personal things to deal with. Hope you've enjoyed the story so far**

 **happy reading :)**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

APOV

We're sat at the breakfast bar in Christians kitchen. "Your kitchen is so beautiful, I've always dreamt of a kitchen like this, marble work tops and a big Ireland in the middle" he smiles at me "come round and cook whenever you like. Thank you for cooking it was lovely" he takes my hand and kisses the back of it. I can feel my cheeks burning up. Control yourself Steele. I stand from the breakfast bar and collect our plates and head over to the sink. "I have a dishwasher" I roll my eyes "it's a few plates and a pan. Won't take 5 minuets Mr. Grey" I chuck him the towel. I fill the sink and wash the dishes. Washing up the last plate Christian scoops a big handful of bubbles and blows them all over me "Christian" I scream his name. He stands there laughing. "That's it, game on" I splash him with water "Ana my shirt" I splash him again and get his hair wet this time "oh that's it, it's Defo game on now Miss Steele" Christian grabs and cup from the side and fills it with water. I run to the other side of the kitchen so the Ireland is between us. "Can't get me now grey" he chases me round the Ireland and finally catches me. He pours the water over my head and I screech. "Christian it's cold" he laughs, I like hearing him laugh. "I got you" he says with a cheeky grin. I pull Christian in for a hug. "Ana your clothes are soaking" "well you did just chuck water over me" I roll my eyes. Christian pulls my in tight and looks down at me. "You are so beautiful Anastasia" he leans down and plants and kiss on my lips. I feel myself go weak at the knee's. He kisses me more passionately and I kiss him back. I want him. I run my hands over his shirt, it's wet and clinging to his body. I can feel his muscles. Dam he must work out. He breaks off our kiss and rests his forehead on mine "i want you Ana" fuck he wants me too. I feel my cheeks Burn up. "But not today Ana, we mustn't rush things" oh my body goes numb. I feel so hurt by these words. "Come, I'll give you some dry clothes" he breaks away and reaches out for my hand. We walk through the living room and up the staircase on the other side of the house. We enter what I think is Christians room. He's room is big. It's painted blue and there is a painting of a dog above the bed, it's the same dog that was on his phone. "Wait here" Christian walks into his walk in wardrobe. I do as I'm told for once and sit on the bed. It's comfortable. Christian reappears wearing jeans and a T-shirt he looks good in jeans. I bite my lip. "Here put these on" he hands me some jogging bottoms and a t-shirt. "Stop biting your lip Anastasia" he kisses me on the cheek. "I'll be downstairs in my office, come down once you're ready" I look at him confused. How do I know which room is his office the house is massive. "My office is the second door on the left" it's like he could read my mind. With that he disappears. I head for the ensuite bathroom. I change into Christians clothes. They smell just like him, he smells so good. I fix my hair in the mirror. I head back into the bedroom and realise I Haven't got any socks. I'm sure Christian will have some I can borrow. I head into the walk in wardrobe. Wow it's bigger then my bedroom at home. His suits are lined up in colour order, there's got to be at least 50 different suits here, surely there's a limit. I turn round and find a chest of draws. the first draw has got ties in, the second cufflinks, the third draw finally has socks in. I pick up a pair and shut the draw. I'm feeling a little chilly maybe I should grab a jumper too. I find a jumper hanging on the end of the rail and grab it. I head back to the bedroom and sit on the edge of the bed to put his socks on. I pull his jumper on and lay down on the bed. His bed is massive and so comfortable, the sheets are silky smooth too. What does Christian really want from this, he said he wants to take it slow but why, is he scared, have I done something wrong. I let out a sigh and close my eyes.

CPOV

Sat in my office I look at the clock shit is almost 6pm I've been working on this for 4 hours, where's Anastasia. She was supposed to come down after she got changed. Fuck did I scare her away. I run my hand through my hair and rush to the door and head upstairs.

"NO DON'T" I hear Anastasia shout. What's going on. I open the bedroom door She's laying on the bed asleep, she must be having a nightmare.

"Please don't go, I can't let you leave like this" she's starts to cry. I gently bring her into my arms and rock her. "It's okay Anastasia, you're okay" I wipe away her tears. Her eyes suddenly open and she pulls me in for a tight hug and starts sobbing "please don't go" she snuggled into my chest. "Ana I'm not going anywhere, why would you think such thing" she sniffs and wipes her eyes "everyone I care about leaves" sadness crosses her face "oh sweet Ana, I'll always be here" I kiss her forehead and squeeze her tight. "What time is it? How long was I Asleep for?" She looks around the room, it's starting to get dark so I turn on the bedside lap. "It's almost 6pm" panic crosses her face "if you need to go Ana I can drop you" she frowns "no Christian, I don't want to go I just need to call josh and tell him not to cook or wait up for me" she wants to stay with me, i want her to stay with me. I love her being around. "Of course, I'll give you a minute to speak with him" I head towards the door and downstairs. I pop into my office and shut down my computer. Looks like I'll be doing no work tonight anyway. I head towards the living room and there stands Ana. She is perfect even when she's wearing my clothes.

She looks worried and as if something has troubled her. I rush to her side. "Ana is everything okay?" She shrugs her shoulders "I need to tell you something Christian"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

APOV

Christian leave his bedroom. I head to the bathroom and fix my hair and straighten the clothes he's given me. I look at myself in the mirror, my face is red and blotchy where I had been crying. Oh Ana why are you so afraid. I splash my face with cold water to try and get rid of the red blotches. I look at myself one last time in the mirror.. what a mess I am but it will have to do. I pick up my phone and give josh a call but his phone when to voicemail. "Hi Dad it's just me Ana, I'm at a friends house and I'm not sure what time I'll be back, I have my keys. Don't wait up, love you" I hang up he phone and put it in my pocket.

I head for the door and make my way to the living room. Christian isn't here. I take a look around the living room, the walls are a off cream colour and the carpet is also cream. There's a beautiful fire place I bet it's lovely in the winter to curl up by it. To curl up by the fireplace with Christian would be lovely, what's even going on with us, he wants me but not now; why not

I sigh.

I look up and Christian has just walked into the room.

"Ana is everything okay?" He rushes to my side, I shrug "I need to tell you something Christian" oh Ana are you really going to tell him about the stupid nightmares.

"Anastasia you can tell me anything, please don't be afraid to talk to me" Christian puts his hand around my waist and pulls me closer "would you like a drink?" "Um water, a glass of water please" Christian leaves the room. I start to panic. What if he doesn't understand. Christian returns back to the room and hands me the glass of water. "Thank you" he gestures for me to sit on the sofa, I take a seat and he sits next to me. Christian takes my hand "Ana relax" I look at him, he's got such kind eyes. "Christian my nightmares, I need to tell you about them" I let go of Christians hand and start to fidget. "Ana please, say what you need to say I'm not going to judge you" oh I really hope he means that. "My nightmares are sometimes about you" he looks at me and sadness fills his eyes. "Why me Anastasia" he voice is small and wounded "Christian, I know we haven't known each other long but I feel this sort of connection to you, I find it impossible to leave you alone or get you out of my head" I take a sip of my water, he sits there and looks at me blankly. "What happens in the nightmares Anastasia" I look down at my hands "usually they start happy, we're both into each other then you go away for a few weeks and come back with another woman" a tear falls upon my cheek. I quickly wipe it away. "You come back to me and tell me you don't know why you bothered with me and I'm useless" by this point tears are running down my face and I can't stop them. We sit in silence for what seams to be forever. Christian pulls me into his arms "Anastasia, please don't be upset, i feel this connection too, it's been confusing me for weeks and to see you get injured today really hit me and made me realise I want to take care of you" I rest my head in Christians chest, he smells so good. I could say in his arms forever "Anastasia, what about the other nightmares?" Shit I can't tell him about the flash backs I have. "Umm" dam Ana breath you'll make yourself have a panic attack. Just tell the man, he's not going to run, he actually cares about you, my inner judge is take over and giving her input. "Ana it's okay if you don't want to talk about them" he gives me a sympathetic smile. "No Christian, I will tell you. I've let this haunt me for too long" Christian turns pale. He's breathing has become heavy. "Anastasia, what is it?" The look of sheer panic crosses his face. "My last partner..." i hesitate and close my eyes. "My ex boyfriend... would.. would lock me in his apartment for days at a time and abuse me" Christian stands up quickly and starts pacing back and forth. "What the fuck Ana, this is so fucked up, why didn't you tell me" he's mad but why is he shouting at me. I bring my knees into my chest and hug them tight. He runs his hand through his hair. "Where Dose the little shit live Anastasia" Ana why did you tell him, I rock back and forth. I can't tell him where Zack lives. "Anastasia answer my god dam question" his shouts at me. I can't hold back any longer, I stand up so We're face to face "Christian stop shouting at me, I'm the victim here. You wanted to know what my nightmares are about and this is your reaction" i shout at him, I'm so angry and upset with him. Tears stream down my face. Christian walks towards me and takes my hand but I pull away. "Don't touch me Christian, I'm angry with you" he takes a step back in disbelief. "How can you shout at me like that when I just told you I was abused" He picks up my glass of water and chucks it at the wall above the fireplace. It shatters into millions of pieces and makes me jump. "I'm mad with him Anastasia, you won't tell me where or who he is? How am I supposed to protect you? The fucker shouldn't be walking the streets he should be rotting in a cell" I sink to the floor and curl into a ball. It's too much, I can't take it anymore, I can't breath. My head hurts. My mouth is dry. I feel sick. There's no escape.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

CPOV

Anastasia falls to the ground. I drop to my knees beside her. She gone pale and her breathing isn't right. Fuck she's having a panic attack... because of me. "Anastasia you need to take deep breaths" she ignores me. "Anastasia you need to ground yourself" fuck should I call mother.. "Ana focus on 5 things you can see" I hope this work or I'll call her "tell me what you can see Ana" she starts to breath a little slower. Why did you react like that grey look what you've done to the poor girl. "Chair" Ana whispers. I really hope this works. "Coffee table" she takes a deep breath in and holds her breath "fire place" she exhales and her breathing is slowing down "rug" she looks at me but she's still not right "one more thing baby" she looks deep into my eyes like she can see my soul "Christian" as my name falls off her lips she sits up and hugs her knees into her chest. I sit next to her. "Anastasia, I'm sorry" i place my arm around her "I'm so sorry Anastasia I wasn't there to protect you, I am now. Nothing or no one will ever hurt you again" I place a kiss on her forehead. I really hope she can forgive me and hopefully trust me. She places her head on my shoulder. She smells like apples, it takes me back to my childhood playing in granny and grandpas garden. She yawns "are you tired Ana?" She nods her head. "Do you want me to take you home now?" I don't want her to leave, it feels so right her being here with me. "No Christian, not yet I don't want to be alone"

A sigh of relief leaves my lips. "Christian you scared me" sadness feels my chest "I'm sorry for being a dick, I don't mean to scare you. I want to help you get the justice you deserve Ana" I pull her in closer. "Last time I saw him" she takes a deep breath "he told me he'd kill me if I tell anyone" that fucking little prick. I'm so angry with him.. "Ana have you had any help from anyone about this?" "You mean like therapy?" She looks up at me and as our eyes meet she quickly drops her head again. "Yes Ana, have you had any therapy?" She shakes her head to tell me no. No wonder she's having these nightmares. My sweet Ana. "I know a good doctor if you'd let me arrange an appointment for you" she must say yes to this, she needs so much help and it's the help I can't give her. She fidgets with her hands "when you said you want me to get the justice I deserve what did you mean" oh Grey she's not Gunna be happy with this... I run my hand through my hair "you should go to the police, I will represent you and be by your side the whole way" she lets out a big sigh and stands up. She starts to pace around the room. "So you want me to relive the whole thing, look what scars he's left behind already" with that she lifts up her t-shirt and shows me her side. There's what I think are burns going from the bottom of her ribs down to her hip. Tears fill my eyes, who'd do this to my sweet Ana. "Ana I know it's scary but you can't let this fucker ruin the rest of your life" i stand up and go towards ana, I reach out to touch the scars but she pulls away. "Don't touch them, please. I'm ashamed to let you see me like this" she covers her face with her hands. I move closer to her and pull her hands away from her face. "You are beautiful Anastasia" I tuck a lose strand of hair behind her ear. She looks up into my eyes and kisses me. She took me by surprise but I kiss her back. There's so much passion in this kiss. I can tell she wants me, I want her too. Fuck grey you can't. She moves her hands into my hair and tugs at it slightly. Fuck this turns me on so much. "Ana I want you" I murmur as my tongue invades her mouth.

Grey you need to control yourself.. what about your past. As these thoughts go through my head I pull away from Anastasia's soft lips. She looks at me as if she's been hurt. "Ana I'm sorry, I can't" she shrugges her shoulders and walks to the window. "Ana it's my past, I need to tell you about it" I walk to where she is and place my hand on her shoulder to turn her around.

APOV

Christian looks at me eyes wide. "Please let me explain my past to you" what about his past.. he's confusing me. Does he want me or not. It's simple. "What is it now Christian?" I take a step away from him. "I'm not the man you think I am" he runs his hand through his hair. "Enlighten me then Christian, you can't keep playing these games with me" he starts to pace back and forth. I stand in front of him and hold him by the shoulders to stop him walking around. Looking into his big grey eyes "please just tell me, how bad can it be" he looks deep into my soul then takes me by the hand and heads towards the stairs. He walks a little fast and I struggle to keep up. "Christian you're walking to fast" I yell at him with frustration. He walks a little slower up the stairs and turns right when at the top. we reach the third door in the corridor and he stops dead still.

"Anastasia, what's behind this door" he pauses and looks as if he just wants to run and hide. "What's behind this door is something I'm not proud of" he looks at his feet and sighs.

"Nothing will scare me away, I'm strong then i look, please just show me" he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a key. "Please remember I'm trying not to be this person ana. I don't want this anymore but I can't help it" he turns the key and pushes the door open.

We step in and the rooms dark. He flicks the light switch.

I gasp at what I see.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 APOV I'm shocked as I walk around the room. The walls are red, some padded with leather. Ropes and shackles hanging from the ceiling. In the middle of the room stands a four poster bed, each post has a gold loop. Red silk sheets cover the bed. On the wall furthest from the door I find Whips and paddles lined up in size order. Next to them rope and hand cuffs hang. Wow this really is something I've never seen before. But I don't say a word I walk round the other side of the bed and Find a chest of draws, I go to open the top draw. "Before you look Anastasia please talk to me" Christians hand holds the draw shut. What should I say, I don't know what to say. I'm speechless. I'm actually speechless for once in my life. "Christian... I.. I'm not really..." I hesitate. He lowers his hand off the draw and places it on mine. "Don't be afraid around me Anastasia" The touch of his hand makes me weak at the knees. I turn and glance at him. "I'm just not sure what I'm supposed to think or say" I drop my hand down to my side and my eyes fall to the floor. "I just... i just don't get it Christian" I sigh. Surely he can't be into the whole tying someone up and hurting them.. it's torture. It's what Zack did to me. "Ana please, let's talk about this downstairs" he holds out his hand for me to take it. "Wait, do you do this to women or do they do it to you?" I pause and look around the room. "Anastasia please let's not talk this through here, let's go downstairs" this time he takes my hand and pulls on it to force me to walk. He turns off the light and locks the door. I stand and rest against the wall opposite the door. "So what is this room?" I laugh "let me guess the red room of pain or the red room of torture" i glance at him from head to toe. He doesn't look too impressed. His mouth is pressed into a fine line. "Oh no sorry mr grey have I disappointed you with my reaction" I say sarcastically and giggle to myself. I feel giddy. This is way too much to take in for one day but I need to know what this shit is about. How can anyone enjoy being tortured. Christian grabs my hand "come with me ana" he tries to move me but I'm not sure my legs are working. "Ana you can walk with me or I will carry you" I burst out laughing "you wouldn't dare carry me" he smirks and scoops me over his shoulder. Kicking my legs and waving my arms like a child "Christian put me down" he gives me a little smack on the butt. Oh wow it felt good. "if you disobey me this is what happens miss Steele" maybe I should disobey more often, my inner judge stands smirking at me. He carries me downstairs and into the living room and sets me down on the sofa. He walks back and forth running his hand through his hair. "I'll give you three questions to ask me about the room ana and that's all for now" I have a million questions and I've gotta pick the three that are driving me mad.. I want to ask about the name of the room but that's not important. "You didn't answer me earlier, do you do this to women or" he holds his hand up to stop me. "I do this to women for my pleasure and theirs" I huff Yh I'm sure women love being tied up and the shit beaten out of them.. sure turned out great for me. "Anastasia your next question" oh I must be drifting into planet ana again. "How did you start doing this? Torture or whatever you call it" he laughs and shakes his head "torture never comes into it ana, it's called BDSM" I look at him puzzled.. because I really know what that means grey. "I started as a submissive, when I was younger. A family friend helped me through a troubled time and if she didn't show me this way of dealing with things I probably wouldn't be here, I owe her everything" hold up a minute. When he was younger a family friend started torturing him and now.. "that's sick Christian, how old were you? How old was she? Is she a pedophile?" I stand up and fidget. "Ana calm down, it was what I wanted" what he wanted like hell it was. "Seriously Christian answer my god dam questions!" I'm mad with him for not answering me. " I was 15 ana, I knew what I needed and she gave me it" fucking 15 he was a child. My inner judge is seeing red. "You were a child. How old was she Christian?" He runs his hand through his hair I can see he looks uncomfortable but I want an answer. "She was 36, but ana please it's in the past" oh wow she was double his age.. I'm so mad I can't even. I walk towards the living room door and face Christian. He looks lost and his face is blank. "I need to go home" 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

APOV

I walk out the living room and slam the door behind me. I sit on the stairs for a moment and gather my thoughts. He tortures women for their pleasure.. that's bullshit. Who in God's name would want that.. mrs Robinson pedo women who ever she is caused him to be like this! I'm angry with her and I'm angry with him. He was 15.. 15 years old still a child and she had her wicked ways with him and fucked him up. My inner judge is seeing red. I am too. I want to scream. The living room door flys open. "What the fuck Anastasia? Why are you being so stupid? It was years ago and I gave consent to everything that happened" a burning rage runs through my body.. my blood is boiling. He wants to go there I'll go there! "YOU WERE A CHILD!!" I scream at him. Christian shrugs his shoulders and turns away "what's the point Anastasia you don't understand and I don't think you ever will" he walks towards the kitchen.

I huff and follow him. I will understand but he needs to understand this woman broke the law!

He opens a cupboard and pulls out a bottle of whisky and a glass. He pauses and grabs a second glass and sets them both down on the counter. He pours whisky into both glasses and nudges one towards me. I roll my eyes and grab the glass. He lifts his glass "to miss understanding" he downs the shot of whisky. He pours himself another glass. I take a small sip out of my glass. I'm not much of a whisky drinker. He raises his glass again "to unspoken pasts" he necks another shot. Why is he doing this. "Christian, what are you doing?"

He lets out a small huff "I'm having a drink steel.. have you got a problem with that?" He pours himself another glass of whisky. I set my glass down on the counter and roll my eyes. "Christian, mr grey. Why don't you put the drink down and talk to me like a proper adult instead of acting like a teenager" with that I place my hand over his. the one holding the bottle of whisky. Christian looks at me as if I'm in some kinda trouble. "I am talking Miss steel, I'm talking to my friend jack Daniel's" he lifts up the hand holding the bottle and flicks my hand off his.

"that's fine Christian, you do that but not with me here" I walk out the kitchen and head for the front door. Tears roll down my cheeks. I'm so angry and upset with him. I just don't want to be around him right now. I grab my bag from a hook in the hallway.

CPOV

Ana turns and walks out of the kitchen leaving nothing but her scent, the smell of sweet ana. Ah grey you've really fucked up big time. I knock back another glass of whisky and walk after her. "Anastasia wait, I'm sorry" she starts to turn the door handle. "Give me one good reason why I should wait Christian, why shouldn't I walk out this door and never talk to you again" fuck. She doesn't want to talk to me. You've hurt her grey. I place my hand on her shoulder "Anastasia please look at me" she stands still and doesn't move a muscle. I hear her sniff as if she's crying. "Please don't cry sweet Ana" I run my hand down her arm and grab her hand. She squeezes me tight.

She slowly turns to look at me. Her face is red and blotchy and her eyes damp from where she's been crying. I go pull her into a hug but she pushes me away. "Why should I stay Christian?" Sadness's fills my chest, I don't want her to leave "Anastasia I don't want to be without you, I care about you too much" she lets out a sigh "but why are you pushing me away Christian, we should talk instead of walking away or drinking our problems" she places her bag on the floor and stands face to face with me. I want to talk to her but she just doesn't understand my past and what I'm trying not to be. I place my hands on her shoulders and she stiffens "I want you, I want you in my life but I'm complicated. I've never done the whole girlfriend thing" I pause and run my hand through my hair "I've never wanted someone the way I want you Anastasia, you are the reason I get up everyday and go to work" she smiles at me and her cheeks flush "you're the last thing I think about when I go to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up, it's been this way from the moment I first laid eyes on you" ana flings her arms around me and squeeze me tight.


End file.
